“There are two kinds of fascists: fascists and anti-fascists.”
Ennio Flaiano
Locals woke up to an unusual sight last Monday morning, where they found the statue of 1798 leader Father Murphy adorned in the vivid colours of the LGBTQIXYWZFGTR+++—-~~~###@@@@/.com community.
This latest colourful addition to the town follows the recently installed rainbow coloured Main Street, where the blinding glare has already claimed 12 road traffic victims. I caught up with local activist Ivan Narrisick to discuss his hopes for these projects.
“Pride is about equality, but only when my tribe is more equal than others. We already have more of our flags and rainbow crossings around the town than an Olympics ceremony, but I will not stop until the whole fuckin town looks like a giant packet of Starburst.
My future plans for world domination envisage every petrol station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, doghouse and even the Avoca River being dyed fabulous technicolour. If anyone gets in my way then they are clearly homophobes. To quote prominent gay rights activist President George W Bush: “You are either with us, or with the terrorists.”
I challenged Ivan with the great Christopher Hitchens interpretation of Sigmund Freud’s theory, which is more than relevant to this issue:
“The deepest hatreds are manifested between people who—to most outward appearances—exhibit very few significant distinctions. It is one of the great contradictions of civilization and one of the great sources of its discontents, and Sigmund Freud even found a term for it: “the narcissism of the small difference.” As he wrote, “It is precisely the minor differences in people who are otherwise alike that form the basis of feelings of hostility between them.”
I suggested that the current plethora of disparate social media-driven tribes, such as LGBTQIXYWZFGTR+++—-~~~###@@@@/.com, merely mask the fact that there are more differences within these many so-called communities than between them.
“Fuck off you Nazi. This is the type of brutal oppression I have to deal with every day,” Ivan angrily retorted.
Parish Priest Father Peter File expressed his concerns over having the statue of a former clergyman adorned in the symbolism of gay pride and in such close proximity to the church.
“Admittedly, as a young seminarian, we all experimented with each other’s bodies during those hedonistic days, but only under the proviso of what happened in Maynooth, stayed in Maynooth. Once we hit that parish pulpit, standard hypocrisy returned in banishing all the pervert sodomites to Hell, but, unfortunately, the days of the public swallowing this shite are long gone. Of course, the official line from his Holiness is now tolerance and understanding of our former adversaries, and indeed all are welcome in the house of God to fill our barren collection plates.
With these economic considerations in mind, I have negotiated a compromise with Mr Narrisick, whereby for two weeks the statue remains in pride colours followed by two weeks where the phallus held by Fr. Murphy is replaced with a crucifix and a vestment of the era. Who says the church isn’t moving with the times?”
“The […] politicians champion identity politics and diversity because it does nothing to address the systemic injustices. Diversity when it serves the oppressed is an asset, but a con when it serves the oppressors.”
Woke Imperialism, Chris Hedges
