A visiting pelican pecked off more than he could chew this week when he arrived in Arklow after escaping the Pelican Bay State Prison, Del Norte County, California. The feathered fiend had been serving a sentence for multiple public order offences and also shoplifting from a local fishmonger. It isn’t known how the fugitive managed to breach the maximum-security prison, but he crucially evaded authorities long enough to arrive in the extradition free zone of Arklow.
“I thought I was home and hosed, but, upon my landing, it didn’t take me long to realise I had merely gone out of the frying pan and into the fire. I was quite parched and jetlagged after the long flight, but none of the pubs would “serve my kind” as the last pelican funeral here they smashed the town up leaving a ****PUN ALERT**** ‘massive bill!’”
“The “Visit Arklow” brochure promised pristine beaches and crystal clear waters, but all I saw was a load of rocks and shite. I took a waddle up Ferrybank way for some fish and chips and was confronted with the local wildlife attacking each other with shovels and knives! The prison I escaped from was more civilised than this zoo! I immediately rang Birdwatch Ireland, pleading for my immediate reimprisonment in the relative tranquillity of Pelican Bay!”
