With public monies to be squandered before the next fiscal year, Arklow Talking Shop Team officially launched “Drink and Drug in Arkla”, a new tourism brand for Arklow.
The party atmosphere was palpable, with complimentary booze and yolks available to all at St. Marys Park on Main Street, which hopeless councillor, Billy FitzBollocks, officiated during the launch.
Parish Priest, Father Peter File, blessed the ceremony praying that many of his flock would enjoy the bounty of drugs and alcohol that our dear Lord kindly provides for us all.
The new “Drink and Drug in Arkla” brand aims to support the reinvigoration of the town as a den of iniquity and to promote Arklow as a freebase for getting absolutely shitfaced. In years gone by Arklow enjoyed the status as a popular destination to develop drug and alcohol addictions, however, this has dwindled over the years.
The new brand will see Arklow positioned as a welcoming substance abuse haven, where; dipsomaniac, bowsies, drug addicts and general party animals can freebase themselves to enjoy a holiday filled with psychedelic and crippling hangover experiences on their doorstep, within the wider district.
The project has involved consulting junkies and developing themes that will appeal to addicts. Special adviser, “Oranges” Thompson, of Drink and Drug in Arkla explains these;
“The first theme is ‘Shoot Up by the Sea’ and this represents the deep heroin connection to Arklow and its people while saying that, as a visitor, great highs are available in Shoot Up by the Sea, while overdosing in the Arklow area. With a focus on the wider district, the second theme highlights Arklow as ‘Gateway drug to the Glens’ and aims to show visitors that they can freebase themselves in Arklow while smoking weed from harbour to headwater right up to the Glenmalure Valley”.
In 2020, Drink and Drug in Arkla secured ADDICT funding, through County Wicklow Lip Service, for a new DrinkDrugArkla.ie website and a small team went about gathering drugs and alcohol for inclusion on the website. Billy FitzBollocks states that:
“All local dealers and dive bars have a free business listing and promotion of the website will be supported by free spliffs which will help visitors get high whilst planning their “trip” in the district. We are delighted to see the launch of the new Drink and Drug in Arkla brand just in time to capture some of the Summer 2021 junkie market”.
Launching the Drink and Drug in Arkla brand during a small socially distanced outdoor gathering of local drug lords and publicans, Billy FitzBollocks continued:
“It is great to put Arklow back on the alcohol and substance abuse map and I would like to thank County Wicklow Lip Service, who has been a great support during this project. The foundation has now been laid for Arklow to once again becoming a popular addiction destination.”
