“As with corn and soy grown in great mono-crops, quality and individuality are sacrificed in favour of standardization and homogenization, even when homogenization takes the form of individuals all competing to stand out as quirky and utterly unique.”
Doppelganger: a Trip into the Mirror World, Naomi Klein
Locals have shown their support to multiple Pulitzer Prize-winning, The Arklow Crimes, after its large social media account, boasting over 1,000 followers, was disabled.
The account, haphazardly built over centuries of pissing off and winding up the worst of humanity served as a cornerstone of the success of the trolling site, showcasing its utter disdain for the behaviours of all sections of a society in its final death throes.
However, a recent class action suit from the billions of people targetted globally by the site has avid readers and customers frustrated and rallying for its reinstatement.
The trouble began when a major local Arklow Says No member accused the Arklow Crimes of revealing his identity which led to the satirist’s account being disabled. However, The Arklow Crimes has emphasised that this is not the case in a heartfelt plea that nobody bothered to view:
“Something appears to have been lost in translation. The Arklow Crimes hates all of God’s abominations equally. From the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, we all share a ticket on the same death march to oblivion, whilst the whole journey on this ridiculous journey obsessing over trivial, materialistic nonsense.”
The situation has sparked outrage among The Arklow Crimes perverted and mentally warped acolytes, many of whom took a break from masturbating furiously in their granny’s wedding dresses to voice their support online.
The attention economy, which [has] trained so many of us to measure our worth using crude, volume-based matrixes. How many followers? How many likes? Retweets? Shares? Views? Did it trend? These do not measure whether something is right or wrong, good or bad, but simply how much volume, how much traffic, it generates in the ether.
Doppelganger: a Trip into the Mirror World, Naomi Klein
An unlikely hero has emerged in this debacle though in the form of the Wexlow Nelson Mandela, Brian Brennan:
“Well, along with my colleagues, I have often found myself the subject of The Arklow Crimes satire, but I also realise that for any functioning democracy, a healthy fourth estate is essential. Who else-but the Arklow Crimes-will bravely and consistently reveal what a slimy nest of vipers, climbers, backstabbers, psychopaths, frauds and den of thieves the Irish political system is? Je Suis Arklow! I have already been on the phone with Meta CEO, Mark Zuckerberg and he has reassured me the page will be back online quicker than I can blow ten million euro.”
In the meantime, the troll site has created a new social media account, which has gained minus followers in the past few days.
To help The Arklow Crimes, you can donate at buymeacoffee.com/tylercheria
“A culture crowded with various forms of doubling, in which all of us who maintain a persona or avatar online create our own doppelgangers—virtual versions of ourselves that represent us to others. A culture in which many of us have come to think of ourselves as personal brands, forging a partitioned identity that is both us and not us, a doppelganger we perform ceaselessly in the digital ether.”
Doppelganger: a Trip into the Mirror World, Naomi Klein
