Taoiseach Micheál Martin has expressed his sheer delight with the timing of the release of the Mother and Baby home report, as the public fury surrounding it has distracted from the coalitions shambolic handling of the vaccination program.
In one week, Ireland gained the joint honour of having both the highest COVID-19 infection rates globally and the highest infant mortality rates in religious order institutions. “Society can share the blame for both”, the Taoiseach proudly proclaimed.
“We are making an absolute bollix of getting the vaccines out and the public were demanding figures of how many had actually received the jab so far. When I took a look at the pathetic total, I knew we would have to postpone any press release until at least Thursday. And what better feel-good story to spin and deflect the media until then than the Mother and Baby homes report?”
“The beauty is that most of the events detailed happened decades ago, so unlike the vaccination rollout, nobody in the current government can be held accountable. All I have to do his reel off the usual legally watertight, hollow apology, and then its backslapping afterwards in the Dail bar which everyone thinks is still closed! As psychopaths, politicians must always maintain self-preservation above the misery and suffering of others.’
I queried the Taoiseach on why there was such lack of progress in administering the vaccine to nursing homes.
“Just like the children of the Mother and Baby Homes, our elderly too are a massive burden and inconvenience on the state. Due to my final solution…. I mean because of resourcing of nursing homes, most were wiped out in the first and second waves of the virus, saving the taxpayer millions. I feel if we can drag our heels just a bit longer with the vaccine, the remaining codgers will also be exterminated by the next budget.”
Nursing Homes Ireland were unavailable for comment.
