Taoiseach Micheál Martin has expressed his sheer delight with the timing of the release of the Mother and Baby home report, as the public fury surrounding it has distracted from the coalitions shambolic handling of the vaccination program. In one week, Ireland gained the joint honour of having both the highest COVID-19 infection rates globally […]

Following high profile criticism of a recent incident involving its armed members, Garda Commissioner Drew Harris has made the unprecedented move in installing 20-year-old Cultural Studies student, Grainne NiMollycoddle, as the new commander-in-chief of the Garda Armed Support Unit. Although completely inexperienced in armed tactical engagement and negotiation, Commissioner Harris assures the public that Ms.

St. Mary’s & Peter’s Catholic Church, Arklow has announced the use of state-of-the-art virtual reality technology to help immerse its parishioners in the Catholic experience. The first of its kind in Ireland, the Holy See hopes this trial will prove successful enough for a global rollout and help provide alternative revenue streams during harsh economic

Self-proclaimed “Bishop Of Banterbury” John Byrne, has expressed his utter despair at the prospect of his yearly Christmas jumper outing being postponed. Well known around the town as a serious “full-time mad bastard”, John was inconsolable upon hearing the government announcement that wet pubs will not be reopening for Christmas, with staff parties also being

Local motor enthusiast, Mark Doyle, is hopeful his “Bring Cruising Back” initiative will revive the once-thriving and legendary boy racer scene of Arklow. Mark can be witnessed driving his Toyota GT Starlet from Hills roundabout to Knockmore roundabout 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The lighting modifications installed on his car (visible from

Unemployed mother of two, Mary Kinsella, expressed her frustration and anger regarding her attempts to secure this seasons much sought after gift for her little angle, Peter, a Playstation 5. Mary has desperately tried to purchase the games console for her son on various online forums but found resellers were seeking grossly inflated prices. “I

Chain-smoking alcoholic pensioner, Jimmy Kinsella, has made the shock announcement not to take the forthcoming COVID-19 vaccine. In a carefully worded press release delivered from his resident bar stool, the 66-year-old armchair immunologist stated that he firmly believes the vaccine was “rushed and untested”. The reasoning for this is only to profit the “Deep State”

With the celebration of Jesus’s entry into the world just around the corner, St. Mary’s & Peter’s Church have decided what better time to also remember those infants who so brutally departed this realm, the Tuam babies. To mark the occasion, 800 light bulbs, each representing the child victims of church instigated infanticide, have been